Why is it sometimes so hard to accept a compliment? Do you ever feel embarrassed to accept praise? Do you dismiss or deny it, feel uncomfortable or change the subject altogether?
Do you say, ‘Oh it was nothing’?
If this happens to you there might be several things at play, for example, a lack of confidence or self-belief will simply not allow you to believe the praise to be true. In addition to that many cultures teach us to be modest and that it’s ill-mannered to be ‘full of yourself’ so we reject praise to fit into a cultural norm.
If we don’t learn to accept praise and compliments, it only continues to feed our inner critic and reinforce limiting beliefs that tell us we don’t deserve the praise or ‘oh it was nothing.’ Accepting praise can help to quieten our inner critic and build more empowering beliefs and confidence about ourselves.
Accepting praise can help to build our confidence, and we can do it graciously too.
And anyway, isn’t it OK to be really good at something and know it? Be proud of it and own it?
The next time someone gives you praise, or a compliment think about the following and practice accepting, owning and feeling good.
Think about the person giving the compliment. A compliment, however small, is a big deal. Sometimes it can take bravery to compliment someone else. Allow the person to express their gratitude towards you or what you’ve done without interrupting them or trying to brush it off before they are finished. Rejecting praise also risks offending person giving the praise, for example someone says, ‘great job’ and you say ‘oh no it wasn’t’ it can be quite disempowering for the other person. Help them feel good by accepting their compliment!
Do not deflect a compliment. If every time someone compliments you, you make an excuse, you are feeding a limiting belief which then gets stronger and more powerful. Choose to accept and believe the compliment.
See yourself the way that others see you. Take a moment and reflect on the compliments you receive. Whether you believe them or not, take the chance to see how others see you. You might learn something about yourself or the work you do and feel more positively.
Just say thank you. Sometimes, the uncomfortable feeling that comes up when receiving praise isn’t triggered by the comment itself but by feeling awkward about how to respond. There’s no need to justify it or reject it. Just smile and say, ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate it.’ Give yourself permission to feel good about it. That’s all you need to do.
Boost your confidence. If you feel confident about yourself, you’re more likely to accept the compliment and feel good. Check out my ebook on how to be confident at work for some more tips.