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Why this octogenarian is engaged

Posted on 9 January 2019 by Kat Buckley

A guest blog by Genevieve Hibbs

At a Lucidity Network meeting, a member asked me directly why I am still so energetically engaged at age 83. I did give some reasons, but recognised that the answers are complex and that other people are surprised or puzzled at the level of my engagement. I decided that for my own and others’ sakes I should reflect on my motivators.

In Japan, in the 1970’s, I realised that I should record my personal observations about health and other experiences and that could be valuable to other people in the future. My accumulative and updating journal ‘Resources: sources and resources for occupational health’ in the 1980’s was indeed a practical attempt to make my professional observations available widely.

When I was elected as a councillor, in the London Borough of Hounslow, I decided that rather than health and education “which I know about”, I would do planning. Open House London offered excellent training as did TfL (Transport for London). Their training and ‘councillor‘ status gave me the confidence to contribute in other professional groups where I was often the only ‘political elected’ person or representative of local government.

Resulting from my research for Resources and beyond, I have followed threads on health, environment, third sector (for example NCVO), and others. I have done biblical translations and Bible-related content, and created a dictionary, that is to be available as open source, and is suitable for teachers and students of English as a second or additional language. I’ve followed KTN and Innovate UK from the early days. Since becoming a councillor, I have also engaged with local government and national government information sources.

After a long period of illness, pneumonia and sequelae in 2009-10 I started to engage or re-engage within something like a five-mile radius. I had moved to Hillingdon after selling my maisonette on the day that I had been elected as a councillor in Hounslow, so had not built strong local roots. The social worker at the hospital suggested that I join the U3A, an Age UK social group and activities at the local Leisure centre. I did those things.

To facilitate my rehabilitation, my church leader wanted me to re-order the church library and voluntarily work in the office each week, which I did. Supervision, feedback and related engagement were invisible. When the church’s new office and community room were being refurbished last year – that stopped. In spite of enquiries, the library is still in boxes, and there has been no discussion about possible resumption.

After being with the Age UK social group for over a year I moved to being a volunteer in an ‘Aging well’ group where I was able to express my creativity. I joined the U3A Science, Geology and Digital photography groups but gradually discontinued after about three years. Physical distance and the exclusive social climate discouraged me. After about three years I gradually desisted from both in favour of walking, especially in a short-lived walking group, that went outside my normal range.

As I regained confidence I cruised, to enjoy a Christian history theme, around the British Isles and eighteen months later cruised, with the same captain, to biblical sites in the Mediterranean. Both cruises were very personally affirming with great personal engagement.

I did attend some professional meetings, as earlier, and have continued that engagement that is growing again now. I started to attend some London Borough of Hillingdon meetings. However, still being a newcomer to the borough made engagement difficult.

I hosted a highly qualified nurse from Papua New Guinea for the six-month duration of her one day a week course in tropical medicine. We exchanged experiences and knowledge. We walked miles together and she was amazed as my ‘dead’ vine and other trees gradually displayed their full glory in the especially long spring. I saw our beautiful natural environment through new eyes.

While attending an older people’s consultation group at the Civic Centre I signed up to BORG (Brunel Older People’s Reference Group). That engagement has been very personally rewarding. BORG invited us to an event to discuss a research project (and they fed us). A few weeks later we get a letter describing the research project and participant requirements. If eligible, we were encouraged to sign up. When the study was finished we got an invitation to the report day. Several universities or other groups may get involved (and they feed us!). As the most proactive BORG member, I now attend lots of other events at the University and am gradually being rewarded by growing engagement and recognition.

I participated in a Brunel research study on loneliness in the elderly. I noted that digital photography was increasing the quality, intensity and interest of my observations, especially of the natural and built environment. That allowed engagement with the environment but not proper engagement with people, which was becoming more difficult.

I lost my closest female friend, my adopted brother’s wife, in 2009, and after five or so years in various care homes, my older sister and my former room-mate, in early 2018. So, the people who really knew me have gone.

When the Age UK ‘Aging well’ group closed I moved to a group of mainly Punjabi speaking women. where I join in the exercises, move lots of chairs, and usually play Rummikub ‘open handed’ with one to three group members.

There are sometimes two or more weeks in the summer and at Christmas when engagement stops. Yes, one does get invited out on Christmas Day. I usually carve the turkeys at St John’s, West Ealing for the ‘soup kitchen’ Christmas dinner but then go to a home for the rest of the day. I also call available people together for a muddy walk between Christmas and the New year, ploughman’s lunch and board games afterwards.

At some point, I realised that when I went to a meeting ‘in town’ (London), I built in exercise including cardio exercise by walking up the escalators and stairs. I also realised that organisers were glad to welcome and engage with attendees. Also, that at London meetings one often met with and could engage with leaders, especially, the professors at the BCS Women and related meetings. I use my Freedom pass and started to look for more frequent events ‘in town’.

Knowing that one will have one or more meaningful engagement in which one can offer some useful contribution brings me deep pleasure.

Thank you, Lucy and Lucidity Network, for enabling such purposeful engagement even between the physical meetings!

Genevieve is the oldest (and one of the most engaged!) members of Lucidity Network, if you need a hand reawakening your mojo come join our free Facebook community dedicated to clearer thinking for better results. You’ll also be privy to upcoming events and find out when the network is open to new members.

Genevieve M Hibbs former: nurse (general and occupational health), midwife, Christian missionary, lecturer, elected councillor, mayor and a member of the Lucidity Network.

Do you know what people say about you when you’re not in the room?

Posted on 27 December 2018 by Lucy Gower

Last week I had the pleasure of interviewing Antoinette Oglethorpe, coach, author and speaker on the topic of personal brand.

We started from the premise that whether you want to develop your career in an organisation or build your own business (or make any kind of change happen) that a key skill is influencing the behaviors and decision-making of other people.

How people perceive you and what people think of you is all about your personal brand.

A personal brand isn’t about being something you’re not but more about being your best and authentic you. It’s about being deliberate in aligning how others perceive you and building your reputation with who you really are.

Everyone has a personal brand. Jeff Bezos famously described personal brand as ‘what people say about you when you’re not in the room’.

Where do I start with my personal brand?

To find out your personal brand, start with giving some thought to how you want to be perceived. What words do you want people to associate with you? How do you want to be described? Write it down. Then ask your friends who know you professionally for 5 words they’d use to describe you in a work context. Put the results into a word cloud. A word cloud is an excellent visual way of seeing how you currently show up. Is what other people say about you congruent with how you want to be perceived? If not, you have some work to do on your personal brand.

Don’t leave your personal brand at the door

I’ve written before about how people often leave their personalities at the door when they arrive at work because they are trying to fit in. If, in your work environment, you can’t be you, if you have to pretend to be someone else, you need to think carefully if you are in the right job for you, because therein lies the source of huge unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

The average person spends 80,000 hours of their life at work. You probably will spend longer. That’s far too long to be unhappy. Satisfaction at work comes from the people you work with and the organisational culture. That’s why it’s important to work in an environment that fits with your values and where you can be yourself.

Antoinette had some solid advice so you don’t end up in a culture clash. She suggests when you are contemplating moving jobs to find and talk to people in the organisation for an informal chat about what it’s like. These people will give you insights on the culture that you wont get from a job application or the recruitment page of their corporate website.

What if you’re an introvert and don’t feel comfortable ‘promoting yourself’

Introversion and extroversion are about where you get your energy from – yourself or other people. Building your personal brand doesn’t have to be shouting how great you are or showing off. We don’t recommend that! You have to build your brand in a way that adds value to your audience and feels ok for you.

Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, build relationships strategically. Whether you are building a reputation internally or externally, think about who needs to know you and focus on building your reputation with them. Think about who you need in your ‘personal boardroom’. Focus on those people. Check out the book ‘Who is in your personal boardroom?’ for more detail on how to do this.

You also have a choice of whether it’s important to develop your reputation outside your immediate circle or not. For example, you can build your personal brand to a wider audience through public speaking, posting comments online, blogging or deliberate publicity. The benefits must outweigh the discomfort. When I first became a freelancer I decided that I needed to build my brand so people would know how I could help them. The pain of public speaking, blogging and creating publicity was worth the reward of a successful freelance career. It was really painful at first. I blogged for months before I actually shared a blog with anyone!

How you show up on social media is about being thoughtful as to how you want to come across, who your audience is and what you want them to think. How personal do you want to be? How much do your audience what you to share? A good litmus test is to think ‘What if that was written on the front page of the paper?’ or ‘What would my parents say?’ or ‘What would my children say?’

If you’d be unhappy for the press, your parents or your children to see the post – then don’t post it. Simple.

Antoinette’s advice is to consider if building your brand outside of your immediate circle is important that you do it in a comfortable way and break down the task into the smallest steps. For example, when posting on LinkedIn, rather than share your views on the Brexit shambles, you might choose to thank others for the work they’ve done with you this year. That way you’ve posted something, nothing is controversial and you’ve made other people feel good – and if one of the traits of your brand is ‘being thoughtful’ then you reinforce that too.

We like to be liked and our personal brand won’t suit everyone. And that’s ok. What’s important is that you are perceived in the way you want to be by the people that matter and that you are your real and best you.

If you’d like some help with building your personal brand, you might benefit from joining the Lucidity Network. It’s a pick and mix of online and offline learning and connection to a dynamic network of people that can help you. We’re open to new members a few times a year. Join the Lucidity Community Facebook group to get in the Lucidity groove for clearer thinking and better results and be the first to hear when the Lucidity Network is open for members.

Make failure your friend

Posted on 7 December 2018 by Lucy Gower

I recently interviewed Richard Turner, a self-proclaimed expert in failure on why failure is inevitable and why it’s also very important.

Failure is one of those topics where there’s a big gap between knowing and doing. Rationally we know that it’s OK if we are doing our best, to fail, because by failing we learn valuable lessons that lead us to success in the future.

Yet, failure is not rational. Failure is highly emotional. Remember the last time that you failed at something that was important to you. How did it feel? Most likely it felt horrible. I know that if I’ve failed badly I almost can’t bear to talk about it and dissect it until a bit of time has passed and the pain has resided.

However, as Richard pointed out, it’s the ability to talk about the failure when you are still feeling it that has the potential to lead to the biggest learning. Like with many things its easier said than done, you need to have people to talk to in confidence about failure and work in an environment where you don’t fear the repercussions of failure.

Here are my eight take-aways from the interview

Make failure your friend and work on reframing your mindset on how you view failure. It’s not the enemy to be avoided. If treated with respect, failure can be your friend.

Tell stories of the failures in your organisation to help others learn. Tell stories to all your audiences, customers, supporters, internal teams. The learning from failure is more readily remembered and more importantly implemented as a story than facts and figures.

Set a BHAG. A Big Hairy Audacious Goal. This goal works best when it is organisation wide, however, if setting the organisation’s BHAG is not in your remit set your team one – or set an individual one. Setting a BHAG forces you to think differently. If your goal is to double sales you approach the task very differently than if your goal is to increase sales by 5%. A BHAG also shifts expectations. You are all working to smash your BHAG, however, if you fall short, it’s highly likely that you will have done better than the 5% incremental change.

Like Oscar Wilde said; ‘Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land amongst the stars’

Give yourself and your team permission to fail. This is also easier when you have a BHAG. You can’t just tell people they have permission, you have to lead by example. For example, you might share learning from failure as a regular agenda item at team meetings. Everyone should have something to share, after all, if no one is learning from failure they are not pushing themselves hard enough to reach that BHAG. BHAG’s don’t just achieve themselves.

Go for a walk. The single best way I’ve found to clear my head, think straight and be more creative is to go for a walk. It can help you think through problems or if you take a colleague it can help you talk through problems.

With hindsight, Hindsight is a great thing. If I could choose a superhero power I’d be ‘Hindsight Hero’. EVERYTHING is easier with hindsight but we don’t have a crystal ball so the best we have is learning from failure. Your learning from failure is someone else’s hindsight – but only if you’re brave enough to share it.

Back to mindset. Start to frame problems in a more positive way. Rather than ‘This doesn’t work’ or ‘We tried that and it didn’t work’ ask ‘How might we make this work?’

And finally, construct your failure resume. List your career steps from the failures that have led you to where you are now.

The interview with Richard Turner can be watched at the Lucidity Network which is a pick and mix of online and offline learning and connection to a dynamic network of people that can help you. We’re open for new members a few times a year. Join the Lucidity Community Facebook group to get in the Lucidity groove for clearer thinking and better results and be the first to hear when the Lucidity Network is open for members.

Top tips to innovate with confidence

Posted on 1 November 2018 by Lucy Gower

Recently I had the pleasure of recording a webinar with Roland Harwood, co-founder of global innovation agency 100%Open, about his experiences and insights on innovation.

I first met Roland when I was participating in a workshop that he was running in the early days of 100%Open. Then I was a client when they helped the NSPCC (where I worked) with some new thinking and later I went on to work as a freelance associate for 100%Open.

This is how stuff happens. Work gets done when you know people, understand what they do and trust them. Relationships can shift and change over time, but I’ve found that when you want something done you start with going to your trusted network and if you don’t know how to do something you go to your trusted network and find a person that can. So it’s important to build your networks before you need them.

I wanted to share my top take-outs about innovating with confidence from the webinar with Roland.

Not everyone is an extrovert

Innovation workshops where the most extroverted person gets the most air space and the workshop goes in the direction of their ideas aren’t great. That’s why having a good facilitator is important, to ensure that everyone gets to contribute. Roland introduced us to ‘brain writing’ where people write down their ideas to solve a problem on their own first. Then the ideas are shared and discussed. Often there are similar ideas which indicates a shared direction and it means that everyone gets to input from the start.

The 2 pizza rule

Jeff Bezos is accredited with this simple rule to keep groups working on new ideas and projects small. If your group of innovators can eat more than 2 pizzas (assuming that you are dealing with average appetites) then it’s too big!

Innovation is a ‘U shaped’ process

At the start of an innovation process, everyone is enthusiastic and excited. The same happens at the end of the process where a product gets to market. In the middle it can be a whole different story, organisational treacle and antibodies get in the way and we can run out of momentum, budget and energy. (I sometimes refer to this as the curve of doom). The point is, if you know this when you embark on an innovation project it’s helpful, as when you are at the bottom of the U shaped curve you know that there is hope! And that if you persevere that you will come out the other side.

The anxiety gap

This is when expectations don’t match delivery. Usually, in an innovation project the flurry of tangible activity happens near to the delivery date, so reporting on progress can feel slow until the launch. It’s the same feeling as cramming for an exam at the last minute, or pulling an all-nighter to meet a deadline. You deliver but it’s not until the end that delivery can match expectations.

Get people to vote with their feet

In a workshop people are often asked to vote on their favourite idea. Sense check this by asking people what idea they would like to spend time in the workshop developing. If no one wants to work on it there is a disconnect. The idea will struggle to get off the ground if there is no enthusiasm to develop it at the start.
Go as fast as you can. It’s better to get something into the market and test it quickly than keep tinkering around until something is perfect. The best way to make improvements is to get real feedback from real customers.

The ‘How to innovate with confidence webinar with Roland Harwood is part of the exclusive content available to Lucidity Network members.

The Lucidity Network is designed to help you build your networks before you need them and take the lead in getting the results you want. It’s a pick and mix of online and offline practical tools and advice as well as access to a dynamic network of expertise.We’re open for new members a few times a year. Sign up to the waiting list to be the first to know when the Network is open for new members. In the meantime you can join the Lucidity Community free Facebook group for clearer thinking and better results.

When did you last feel really confident?

Posted on 29 October 2018 by Lucy Gower

Confidence: The Oxford English Dictionary says it’s ‘A feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.’

When did you last feel confident? Now? Earlier today? Yesterday? Last week? Last month?

Over the last 6 years I’ve worked with individuals, teams and organisations to help them to think creatively and develop their ideas to get better results. I’ve learned that regardless of role, seniority or sector, the two biggest things that stop people achieving the results they want, are lack of time to think and lack of confidence.

I do not believe that some people are born confident and others are not. I’ve noticed that people who are more confident deliberately work at maintaining their confidence.

Dips in confidence can affect both individuals and whole organisations. When the pressure is on it can be easy to lose our nerve to push forward with a new way of working, product or idea. I’ve noticed that lack of time and lack of confidence are connected. When we’re busy, stressed out, juggling many conflicting priorities our attention to detail can slow. We drop balls. The odd dropped ball doesn’t matter, but if several balls drop at once it can knock us back. That often knocks our confidence. And when we’re busy we don’t take time out from our packed schedule to regroup and put our confidence back on track.

In her TED Talk, Angela Duckworth tells us about ‘grit’ – the ability to persevere in the face of setbacks. Her research shows that when it comes to achieving success, grit beats talent every time.

Whilst we know that we need to dust ourselves off and keep going, it can be much easier said then done.

Our setbacks are emotional. Whilst rationally we know we must pick ourselves up and keep going, we have to wait until our emotions catch up with our rational thought process. Only then can we move on. We need to allow ourselves time to do this. And if you are in any doubt about these two different thinking systems check out The Chimp Paradox.

Working on confidence can feel intangible but focusing on it is part of looking after ourselves along with eating well, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly. When we are taking time to look after ourselves it helps us keep our confidence in check. When we feel good we feel more self-assured and more confident to tackle whatever situation working life throws at us.

If you’re keen to be more deliberate about building and maintaining your confidence here are my top three quick and practical tips. Do them daily.

Log your achievements Get yourself a notebook or create an online file and log your achievements. Log them all, especially the small ones because they add up. Keep the good feedback you receive from other people; a thank you from a client, the well done good job email from a manager or the time your team went the extra mile for you. Write them down. Writing them down helps you to acknowledge them, which makes you feel good. In addition, seeing your achievements written down helps you realise how far you’ve come, the positive impact you have every day and how much you’ve achieved overall. Instead of your ‘to do’ list – it’s your ‘I did it’ list.

Call out Imposter Syndrome The nagging voice that tells you you’re not good enough or are going to get found out is a thing. Its called Imposter Syndrome and 70% of people are affected at one time or another. When that little voice tells you that you’re not good enough and anything good that happens to you is luck – call it out. For example, I acknowledge that it’s happening and disconnect that annoying voice from the real me and tell it to pipe down. Your task is to find your own way to change the negative story that your inner critic is telling you. Look for evidence to deny the things that your inner critic is saying. For example, if you think that you’re a failure, ask yourself, “What evidence is there to support the thought that I’m a failure?” and “What evidence is there that doesn’t support the thought that I’m a failure?”

Build your troupe This is your trusted network of friends and colleagues, the people you go to for help, the people you can talk though problems with, the people who help you to dust yourself off and keep going. You need people who listen, challenge and ultimately you trust are on your side, people who have your back. As well as building your troupe of people who build your confidence, disengage from the people who put you down and shred your confidence.

When it comes to achieving success, who you know is so much more important than what you know, yet I notice that many people don’t invest much time and energy in deliberately building their trusted networks.

So I’ve set up the Lucidity Network, to help you fast-track your networking and your route to great results. The Lucidity Network is a ready made troupe to keep your confidence up when you need a boost as well as offer expertise and connections to others that can help you. Members also get exclusive content on relevant topics as well as webinars with experts, a confidential Facebook Community and regular events.

The Lucidity Network is open for new members a few times a year. Sign up to the waiting list to be the first to know when the Network is open for new members. In the meantime you can join the Lucidity Community free Facebook group for clearer thinking and better results.

A version of this blog first appeared on Optimum Living’s website.

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