When did the standard response of ‘fine thanks’ get replaced by ‘busy’ or ‘really busy’ or ‘soooo busy’? If you don’t say that you’re busy do people think you’re lazy? Or boring? Or both?!
Everyone is busy. It’s like a rite of passage. But why? Hasn’t life got easier, more automated? What are we all so busy doing?
Are we busy photographing our lunch for social media? Or multi-tasking across multiple apps and web platforms to stay up to date with the latest news and trends? Or are we just expected to live at a faster pace – to achieve more?
Where are you on your ‘to-do’ list? Is it growing rather than shrinking? You are not alone. In the Lucidity Innovation Leadership Launchpad report, the top reasons that people didn’t do ‘innovation’, or any kind of strategic thinking was because they were too busy, too stressed and they just don’t have enough time.
Is stress catching?
If everyone you surround yourself with is in a state of stress it becomes a problem. It begins to self-perpetuate, we start to feel that we have to be busier or achieving more than our stressed-out friend’s family and colleagues.
Tim Ferris author of The 4-hour work week claims that, ‘you are the average of the 5 people you most associate with’. Think about who those 5 people are. If what Tim says is true, what does this mean for you stress levels?
The problem is, if we spend our time being too busy to look after ourselves our stress levels increase to such a level that we reach burn out. A physician called Hans Selye defined a three-stage reaction to stress called General Adaption Syndrome or GAS. In stage three he said:
‘The body’s resistance to the stress may gradually be reduced, or may collapse quickly. Generally, this means the immune system, and the body’s ability to resist disease, may be almost totally eliminated. Patients who experience long-term stress may succumb to heart attacks or severe infection due to their reduced immunity.’
This is serious stuff. To live healthy lives, we must learn to reduce our levels of stress and build our resilience. When we are striving to do our best, to deliver work for other people, to look after our family and to climb a career ladder we often forget that to do all these things we must be OK.
I heard a quote recently ‘You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm’
To get the results we want, it’s important to take a step back and recharge, otherwise we’re just like a leaky bucket, constantly on the go, our energy draining out through the holes. We need to do two things:
- Plug the holes – get the root cause of the stress
- Refill the bucket – replenish our energy.
Tips to help you keep your bucket full
- Reframe your thinking – stop telling people you’re busy as your default. When you tell people you’re busy, it often makes you feel more stressed.
- Take time every day to prioritise. It might just be 10 minutes, for example, at the end of the day to plan your priorities for the following day.
- Take time every day to list and then reflect on what you’ve achieved that day. Write them down.
- Get a mentor or a coach; a trusted person to help you focus on what’s important and make progress and help you to manage the feelings of being really busy.
- Start to notice what triggers your stress, is it a person, a situation? What physically happens to you when you are experiencing stress? Feeling hot or cold, like you can’t think straight, agitated? Start to notice your stress triggers and your response.
- Next time you feel your stress triggered, try and manage it, for example, go for a walk or phone a friend.
- Say ‘no’ more often. If you are really busy and taking on something else is too much, then say so. You could offer a different solution, e.g. is there someone else that could help, or negotiate deadlines, could it be done next month when you have more time rather than immediately?
- Make time to do the things that you love, whether that’s spending time with friends and family, the movies, theatre, reading a book or going for a run. All these things are your fuel – they refill your bucket. Don’t wait until your bucket is empty before you do them. Do them regularly and keep your bucket full.
Let me know how you get on.
If you’d like some help with making time to think, upping your productivity and reclaiming your ‘me-time’ you might benefit from joining Charly White and me for a one-day online resilience training on Thursday 22 October 2020 (10am-4pm UK time). Learn practical tips to lower your stress and build your resilience in order to think clearly, combined with practical tools to help you think creatively to solve problems.
At the end of this one-day training you’ll have:
- A toolkit of techniques to help you notice your stress and anxiety triggers
- Practical tips and tools to lower your feelings of stress and anxiety, and help the people around you with this too and avoid the fight, flight, freeze state.
- A set of tools to help you think clearly and creatively to solve problems
- Confidence to put your learning into action and keep momentum even on the tough days.
This ‘From overwhelmed to energised‘ training webinar is for anyone who is responsible for leading and motivating a team, and who would like to build their resilience and creative problem solving skills. Book your place today!