Have you ever been in a meeting where you had something valuable to say… and said nothing?
Maybe you were worried about sounding silly. Maybe you couldn’t get a word in. Maybe your heart was racing, and your inner critic was whispering, ‘Who are you to speak up?’
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Even experienced leaders can struggle to speak up – especially in new environments, when surrounded by more senior voices, or when what they want to say might be a different view or opinion.
Speaking up takes courage. But it’s also a vital leadership skill – not just for sharing your perspective, but for shaping a culture where every voice can be heard.
Why it’s hard to speak up
Speaking up if often about confidence and that is impacted by how resilient you’re feeling and the context in which you’re operating. For example, you might feel fine leading your own team but freeze in a boardroom, amongst more senior colleagues, or in a new group dynamic. Often, it’s a mix of:
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Physiological reaction – like a racing heart or dry mouth
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Inner critic – that voice that undermines your confidence telling you you’re not good enough
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Fear of being judged – or not saying it ‘perfectly’
Understanding what’s going on is the first step. When you know your personal blockers, you can start to move past them.
How to speak up with more confidence
If you find yourself holding back, try these practical steps:
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Notice your triggers: Is it the room, the people, the topic? Or something else? Start by understanding what’s happening.
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Name your inner critic: Acknowledge it, thank it for trying to protect you — then speak up anyway.
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Use your breath: Slowing your breath helps calm cortisol and adrenaline. Try breathing in for 4, holding for 4, and out for 4 before the meeting, during the meeting and before you speak.
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Anchor your body: Plant your feet firmly on the ground, sit straight with shoulders back to feel more grounded.
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Start early: Say something small early in a meeting — even a comment or a question — to hear your voice and build confidence.
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Speak with purpose: Remind yourself why your voice matters. Is it for your team, your organisation, or the people you serve?
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Ask a question: If you’re unsure what to say, ask a question. ‘Help me understand…’ or ‘How does this link to our strategy?’ are powerful, non-threatening ways to speak up.
If you lead meetings your role is critical
Leaders often say they want more voices at the table, but without realising it, they create environments where people stay silent.
If you’re chairing or leading meetings, here’s how to help others speak up:
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Invite dissent: Ask explicitly for other perspectives. ‘What haven’t we considered?’ or ‘Who sees it differently?’ can open up the room.
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Watch body language: Look for people trying to contribute and draw them in gently.
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Have quiet conversations: Before big meetings, ask quieter team members if they’d like to contribute – and back them when they do.
Creating space for others to speak up is part of your job as a leader. And when you model it yourself – when you raise your voice, share your thinking, and show vulnerability, others will follow.
🎧 Want more?
In episode 032 of The Quiet Leadership Revolution, we share more strategies and stories about speaking up and creating inclusive spaces. Give it a listen — and let us know what resonates.